Nelson Wong Life Blog

Steve Ballmer’s shocking autograph of MacBook Pro

It’s likely that if you were told to describe what you think would happen if someone asked Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer to autograph a MacBook Pro, it would go something like this:

Steve would fly into a blind fury, grabbing the laptop and smashing it against a far wall with the force of ten men, laughing as the computer shattered and sparked out of existence. He would then leap towards the young man who’d made the request and pin him to the floor, pulling out a Bowie knife while whispering that he would like to “Gut [him] like the pathetic animal he is.” Next Ballmer would dash out of the room only to return with a canister of gasoline, some hairspray, and one of those long lighters, all while shouting that he would “Show the world what [he's] really made of.” Ballmer would escape from this scene of utter destruction in a helicopter, but not before circling the college campus (or wherever this took place) and dumping toxic waste on hundreds of students.

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